Groundhog Day in SAA
““As we gain sobriety by having clear boundaries and working our program, it becomes much easier to stay sober and to truly enjoy recovery.”
“Three Circles”
SAA is about so much more than continuous sexual sobriety. The Twelve Steps are a way of living happily sober and giving life meaning. When I am fearful, I am suffering from the basic problem of all addicts: chronic self-centeredness and a lack of faith. Through the power of the Steps I have been given a life that is secure and deeply satisfying, and a relief from acting out that is not a struggle. This path enables me to enjoy what life has to offer.
This program reminds me I am but a small part of a greater whole, and as I stay sober I grow in two life-giving ingredients of enjoyable recovery: humility and responsibility. From my morning gratitude list and meditation to my evening review and prayers, with the opportunities to help other addicts in between—these are the things that enable me to truly enjoy recovery.
Today I will not sell myself short; I will take the actions I need to bring meaning to my sexually sober life. I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and I will open myself up to this by practicing the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps of SAA.
Todays reading from Voices of Recovery led me back to a friend and his journey. “Bert” was really struggling for a while in the program to get any traction in sobriety. He went through multiple sponsors, tried several different methods, had a few accountability partners, and then one day it clicked. He just stopped doing anything but SAA program related things. His daily routine looked like this.
Wake up
Eat breakfast
Hygiene
Meditate
Read SAA Material
Go to work
Eat lunch and make program calls
Go back to work
Leave work and go to a meeting
Rarely fellowship after the meeting
Go home
Read SAA material
Pray to his higher power
Go to bed
This was Bert’s routine for over a year, seven days a week. I’m not sure if you notice, or if it isn’t implied directly enough, but he did nothing else. This formula worked for him for about a year and then something changed. It was his mindset. What Bert was doing, he couldn’t sustain. No one could. There was no “quality of life” or as some call it “self care” in his program. Bert had become a machine in working the program and had achieved what he desired. Sobriety. However, Bert had never been so miserable or discontent in his life. When Bert had a relapse after his first year of sobriety, he had been in SAA for close to 4 years. He had a lot of self doubt, but through sharing his struggles in meetings and with accountability partners, Bert started to find that the promises were setting him free. He could have a regimented life around the program and also have a fulfilling life including friends and hobbies. To truly remain sober long term his program had to have some freedom and happiness. Freedom and happiness he wasn’t able to give himself in the moment.
Check out the promises and see if you are sober and living the promises.
