How do we introduce ourselves?
If you do not identify as a sex addict, can’t verbalize it, or prefer to say something different, that is ok.
General sample introduction. Bob: Hello, I am Bob and I am a sex addict.
Do we need to turn on our camera?
We ask that you do turn on your camera. While anonymity is important, the safety, security, and comfort of the other people in the group is as well.
Do we have to share?
You are not required to share on the reading, topic, or check in.
Do we have to tell all of our dirty laundry?
You can share what you are comfortable with. There are no confessional moments waiting for you in SAA. Being honest and tackling your problems as the dynamics change is important. Often this will direct what you feel comfortable in sharing.
Can I share about my partner?
We ask that you use “I” statements and discuss things from your point of view. A good analogy is, “staying on your side of the street.”
What is cross talk and why do we avoid doing it?
Cross talk is considered any interaction or interruption that distracts attention away from the sharing. This includes vocalizations, dramatic facial expressions, and body language, as well as verbally responding to the content. All sharing should be directed to the entire group and never to any specific individual, particularly a partner. This avoids several things. Triggers for partners and others in the group, shame, and guilt. This helps SAA maintain a safe environment that people want to come back to and continue to work on themselves.
What is the green book, a.k.a. the SAA book that people are referring to?
How do we get a sponsor?
You do not need a sponsor to start in SAA. It is recommended at some point that you find people that seem to have what you and your partner needs / wants. Reach out to them either asking for their phone number in the chat or writing their number down and calling them later.
I have someone’s phone number; do I call them or text them?
Often people will list out how they preferred to be contacted. This will be something such as text first or calls only. If they don’t detail out any additional instructions then it is assumed to be ok either way.
Can we attend if we haven’t completed our steps?
You can attend SAA anytime.
Can my partner attend with me?
No. Your partner can not attend unless he, she, or they identify with the SAA program.
Will there be a anyone on the Zoom call or at the meeting that can answer questions and when can I ask them?
After some Zoom meetings there is typically a person that will be more than happy to speak with you. If not, post in the chat asking for someone to talk to in the next week as you have questions. At an in person meeting there is always someone to talk to afterwards.
What is a chair?
The chair is a person that has volunteered to facilitate the meeting for the current week or month. They will read the main readings and ask for volunteers to read a few additional readings. They will ask for a new chair at the end of the meeting for the next week. Some meetings have a chair and a lead. (See next FAQ for lead)
What is a lead ?
The lead is a person that volunteered the previous week for this week’s meeting to develop a topic and present it to the group. This topic can come from many different places. It can come out of the SAA book, something that is specific to something to their current situation, something they have been struggling with, a place they need alternative opinions of how others are doing it. The list goes on and on.
How often do you meet, and do you take holidays off?
Most meetings will meet regardless of holidays. The group size may be small, but it is always here for those in need.
Can I attend another SAA meeting, while attending this one?
Yes. We always want you to have the support that you need.
Can I attend the meeting on a phone, tablet, or other device?
Yes, if you can get on zoom with your device, then you can attend.
Do the people we see on here ever meet in person?
Yes. Many people on here forge healthy relationships with others and do meet in person from Zoom meetings. As far as in person meetings, after meeting fellowships with dinner or coffee is common and great way to get support.
How long do we have to stay in SAA?
There are people in the groups that have less than a day under their belt and there are people approaching 30 plus years. We like to say, you never graduate. You just keep coming back.
Can I refer my friends to SAA?
When selectively sharing your story, you can refer people to SAA. It is recommended that you take some time and mull your decision to tell them about your SAA experience after a trust has been built in confidence and anonymity.
Does this replace therapy, a counselor, CSAT, or psychiatrist, etc.?
This is not a replacement for anything you are doing individually. Your program will be specific to you, just like others will be specific to them.
Can we visit other SAA meetings when travelling?
Many of our current members make a point to visit SAA meetings when traveling throughout the country and abroad. It genuinely helps them with their sobriety. If there is not a listing for an LBGTQ+ meeting in the area you are going, ask for a referral from an acquaintance in the program that lives in that area.
What is the cost of SAA?
All we ask from you is to donate what you want, if you want to. That can be one dollar, or it can be more.
We take our anonymity very seriously. We share our first name and last initial in the meetings on Zoom. It is optional to share your phone number(s). Often, newcomers may not share their personal information, but after attending for a while and becoming more familiar with the people in the group, may then share phone numbers for group support. Names and phone numbers are placed in the chat section. The chat is never saved or recorded.