50 Pieces of Advice I Wish I Knew Before Addiction
I went to a family member’s graduation party a few weeks back. A fun activity they had at the party was a request for people to take a selfie with a polaroid camera (what a throw back for me, and yes I shook the photo,) and write some words of wisdom on a 5x7 note card. Said note card was then to be dropped into a glass bowl with the photo as a memento of the occasion. I complied and wrote the dumbest thing ever: “Call me for bail money and call my partner for advice.” I thought it was cool until about an hour after we left. I thought about that advice and, while it was true, I felt like I didn’t give it an honest twirl. On the way to work, I decided to do just that, and started typing 50 pieces of advice for a soon-to-be college freshman. It felt like step work in one way because there was so much flowing in my mind. While the ideas came from pieces of readings, hearsay, and my own thoughts, I made a point not to copy and paste anything from the internet. Some 43 of these below are actual things I sent her. The other seven were college-specific and I decided to tweak it just a bit for this blog. Spend some time and wrap your self up in the gems. Think big and abstract. Let these thoughts weave through your mind while you relax. Freely search out connections within yourself.
Be honest and gentle with yourself.
You don’t have to have an opinion about everything.
Learn to live comfortably in your uncomfortable moments.
You can be spiritual and not religious.
Work hard and don't expect praise. Do the work for your own satisfaction. Be thankful if you do get praise.
The ability to be present for people enables progress.
Winners never quit and quitters never win is bad advice. Winners quit things all the time to invest in other things.
If you have to pick between satisfaction and loyalty, always pick loyalty. Satisfaction can’t be sustained and loyalty doesn’t require satisfaction.
You can’t turn a ship 90 degrees. Some things take time.
You are more than enough.
Compromise not settling.
Don’t always rely on others for motivation.
Vulnerability is a strength and not a weakness.
Reserve some expressions of love and disgust for people that are truly deserving.
Isolation is an easy path sometimes. Don’t isolate yourself.
Don't 100% model your parents' lead. They didn’t do everything perfectly. Just ask them and they will tell you. They would do a few things differently and more than happy to share that with you.
Take packaged condiments from restaurants and cafeterias.
When all things are perfect, you are the most important. When all things are not perfect, you are most important.
Goals are achievable things, not things out of your reach.
Write. Journal. Keep track of a few things. It will serve you well.
Missing people is normal. They miss you too.
Naps. Adults need them too.
Guilt and shame are real things. And people like to use them as motivation. Learn to identify that behavior and avoid those situations.
Respectful conflict can be one of the most intimate things with people you love and trust.
Execution is more important than creativity when all is said and done.
What you don't know is just as important as what you do know. Everything is not how you know it.
Smile. It will always make you feel better.
Anyone that masters something never reaches that point without failure.
Don't make statements, ask questions.
Express your needs and wants.
You do not need an answer for every question asked.
Life is not black and white. It is often shades of gray and colors.
When you find yourself doing things you shouldn't be doing, think fully through the situation and process the potential consequences.
When people are down, meet people where they are emotionally, then bring them up to a good place. Both of you will appreciate that experience.
The crumbs on your keyboard are not edible. (Just checking to see if you are still reading.)
Older friends give you wisdom, younger friends give you wisdom. Be wise.
Everything revolves around being liked. People don't trust you without liking you.
Practice gratitude. Text a friend things you are thankful for daily.
Spend your time like money. You will never get paid for watching reruns on TV.
Don't be sorry for being late somewhere. You were and are where you needed to be.
It is an acceptable apology to express regret.
When in a room of people you don't know, ask them about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and you can fill in the blanks when they take a breath.
Always be prepared to give a speech on anything.
You can be a humble servant, but a servant is not always humble.
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
There is price, availability, and service. You can only have two of those things.
They say work smarter and not harder. Why can’t you do both?
You can’t be everything to everybody.
Stop mediating relationships between two people you care about so they get along. They will figure it out and you will be less stressed.
Outside of your addiction, mange the exceptions. You can’t micromanage your life.
Keep coming back!
