Rigorous Honesty
We knew it was coming. Our car had been with us for over 17 years. In that time she had become blind due to a retinal degenerative disease, developed asthma, and had kidney issues. We came back from our traditional holiday vacation and quickly realized that she had gone downhill past the point of a good quality life. I went with my partner to our vet office to euthanize her and support my partner. My partner is much more in tune with animals than I am and grieves them fully and honestly like most of us do humans.
While my partner held our cat in their arms, a moment of rigorous honest came to the surface. My partner expressed to me that this cat was a safe space for them when I couldn’t be. That our cat listened when I couldn’t or wouldn’t. That the cat was more trusted than me when I was in my addiction.
Those were some of the toughest words I have heard in a long time, but I needed to hear them for several reasons.
I don’t get to choose when my consequences stop.
I’m still learning about how my addiction affected others.
My partner was modeling intimacy and rigorous honesty for me.
I’m appreciative of this moment and have shared about it in the last three meetings I went to this week. Sharing helps me process things that happen to me.
Keep coming back!
